The word ‘perfectionist’ is being used so many times and it is a tag that resonates with most people as it makes them have a feeling of anxiety and insufficiency.
Perfectionist cuts from both sides of the sword for instance, you do well in being very attentive to detail but on the other hand, you will be endowed with the logistics to executive a task that you are not too comfortable with.
A report made by Psychological Bulletin discovered a number of individuals being identified or described as perfectionists surged between 1989 and 2016.
For women who are endowed with fairer or light complexion perfection can only appear as the only alternative.
But are you aware there are basically three types of perfectionists?
To fully comprehend perfectionism, it is imperative to have good knowledge about the 3 types of perfectionists and how it impact you.
Moreover, various and numerous kinds of perfectionism exist so the possibilities of one would skew productivity while those of another will come out as counter-productive or failure.
3 Types of Perfectionism
Self-oriented Perfectionism
A self-oriented perfectionism is looking out to become the best version of yourself and achieving excellence in your endeavors.
Emily Simonian, a licensed marriage and therapist who works at Thriveworks in Washington DC asserts that the basic characteristics of this type of perfectionism is that they can be too hard on themselves and are strictly self-critical.
She says that people of this nature get themselves overly worked up sometimes and your achievements don’t impress you because of the expectations they want.
Persons of this caliber can slip into frustration and even at their best, it feels like nothing. This trait can result in great gains and they don’t celebrate their achievements and successes that much because of what they were expecting.
A yoga teacher, Natasha Rose Mills opened up on how meticulous she can be with her activities and so fixated on making the best of everything and this is something that has been part of her since her infancy.
When you have a feeling that things are running fast for you and can’t seem to have a grip on yourself, you may take a step back before all your efforts go down the drain.
Simonian advices that if you feel drained and overburdened, identify an aspect of your life where you can pull the breaks or seek assistance from others and she advises that taking good care of yourself plus getting involved in social activities will go a long way to curb being drained by this.
She also advises that you show compassion to yourself by trying to make declarations that distinguish your character from who you are.
For example, you get pissed off by the fact that you missed a workout session while expecting to live a fit and healthy life.
Other-oriented Perfectionism
People who fall in this category mostly channel their perfectionism or standard of perfection towards others.
A psychologist, Dr Seawell asserts that other-oriented perfectionists which is self-explanatory in a sense because they set very high standards for others and they are easy to make judgments when people are unable to meet the standards.
People who have this characteristic normally will not share responsibilities or instruct them to perform a task for them due to their mindset that they can’t do it the way they want it.
They often tend to expect others to act and do things exactly the way they want and due to this it is somewhat difficult for them to retain connections because they merely trust others.
How to manage
So if you are an other-oriented perfectionist and you figure that it is hindering your connections with others, what you want to do is to be more understanding.
If you are upset about someone and your partner did not go to the grocery store to buy groceries, it is likely that he felt fatigued after work or forgot.
Socially Prescribed Perfectionism
A socially-prescribed perfectionist is those who factor the perception of others or society on what they do and the quest to please them so as to stay in their good books makes them want to look perfect in their eyes.
These personalities always have the notion that people are expecting them to act in a kind of way.
Simonian has opined that it is expected that people will definitely have a perception about you or have their impressions about you, however, true perfectionism takes the views and validation of others unrestrained and to the fullest.
Some indicators of people who fall into socially prescribed perfectionism include their appearance, countenance, and demeanour that suggests that they are in control.
Saying this, we mean that your reputation emanates from what others perceive of them.
A Relationship expert, Nancy Landrum puts it this way for instance, having been brought up in her home, it appeared like the one thing that was very essential was appearing very good to others.
What was imbibed in her was to be nice, obey, appear beautiful and perform well and anytime she had a feeling of being unattractive, she always thought she was losing herself.
Handling this challenge, you want to empower the affirmative voice from within.
Simonian advised listing your strengths, your best features, and achievements to raise your self-esteem. If you find that cumbersome, you may do well to tabulate your neutral prospects.
You have to understand that your insecurities and paranoia may not have any significant basis. Do you have evidence that others are judging you or thinking you are not good enough?
You would realize that more often than not, your perceptions or impressions are not premised on fact.
Dr Durvasula alerts us that combatting counterproductive perfectionist tendencies can demand time and work so you would want to exercise patience and not be hard on yourself.
