A few months back, I did a video shoot in New York City with world-renowned biological anthropologist Dr. Helen Fisher on the subject of why guys pull back in relationships.
We talked about why men go in and out of wanting to be in a relationship, whether that’s in the early stages of dating or later on during the infamous male mid-life crisis period.
Talking about why men do this is one thing, but just as important to know is — what can a woman do to keep her man’s attention if she notices it wandering.
The key here is to recognize his behavior early. Even a few days of him being quiet around you and showing no sex drive could be the tell-tale signs of him getting bored.
Talk to him about your concerns and if he says, “I’m fine,” but continues with his stand-offish actions, it’s time to get to work!
And the way you do that is — by withdrawing your affection and attention towards him!
What? Yes. (Don’t doubt me here — remember, I am a man!)
Unfortunately, most women do the exact opposite.
They get worried and start nagging, which sends him further into his “man cave” where he’ll try to date the 18-year-old waitress or buy a yellow corvette. He will build contempt for you the more you lean and try to hold on.
But, if you give him a sense of separation and time to miss you, he’ll get anxious and start thinking he might lose you.
So, what you need to do, ladies, is go into what I call Man Mode.
This is where you start acting like him. Withdraw from him. Run, don’t walk, to your outside social life … you know, the one you kept because you never gave up your hobbies and passions, (remember?). Now, you’re giving him the space he needs to re-access his life. This should send him running back, when he’s ready.
Why? Because you just eased his ball and chain fears. You made him feel like he was single again, and put the thrill of the hunt (getting you back) back into play, as if he was chasing that hot 18-year-old!
Is this advice shocking to you? Yes, I know it’s sad, men really are this way. I make no excuses for my gender; I never have, so I won’t start now.
But try this technique and I promise you that, if he loves you, he will be happy, content with his mini-van, and in your arms again.
If he does not love you, you will know it early so you don’t waste endless years with this man.
This becomes a win/win.
Gregg Michaelsen is a best-selling author and Boston’s top dating coach. He helps women understand the male mind through books, videos and coaching. Check out his book, To Date A Man, You Must Understand A Man, or visit his Facebook page.