We all sleep, but did you know that the way we sleep says a lot about who we are as individuals?
For instance, if you sleep on your back, it often means you’re the strong, silent type; if you sleep on your stomach, it typically means you have an open, gregarious, and playful personality.
So, what happens when you throw different sleeping styles — and personalities — into one bed? Or really, any two individual personalities into one of the most intimate and venerable situations we humans experience?
It’s actually quite fascinating.
When we sleep, our subconscious minds take over. Because of this, the body language we use with a partner while we snooze can be a remarkably precise way to gauge what’s going on in our relationships.
Patti Wood, a body language expert, says our sleep patterns determine how well our relationships are working, “Even if you can’t or don’t articulate those things while you’re awake.”
Many other experts and psychologists agree with this idea and have conducted studies and written books on the subject. They’ve uncovered the ten most popular couple sleeping positions and the secrets they found about each are intriguing.
The Loose Spoon
This extremely intimate position is even more rare than the Spoon. It tends to happen when there is either intense emotions at play (like after lovemaking) or at the start of a romantic relationship.
Some couples maintain it throughout their relationship but it isn’t necessarily a good thing. According to Elizabeth Flynn Campbell, a New York psychotherapist, “[the couple] could be overly enmeshed, too dependent on each other to sleep apart.”
The Unraveling Knot
The Liberty Lovers
The Back Kissers
This sweet position, in which one partner rests their head on the other’s chest, while their legs are intertwined is often seen in early relationships and occasionally rekindled ones, according to Dr. Sweet.
This is a very nurturing posture that creates a sense of protection. Shirley Glass, a psychologist and martial therapist, also notes, “There’s a high level of trust here,” as this snuggling position has a “strengthening sense of comradeship and protection.”
The Leg Hug
The Space Hog
If a partner takes the “starfish position,” one in which they sprawl out and hog the bed, this means that they tend to be selfish — especially if they begin to push the other partner so they’re hanging off the bed.
If this is happening in your relationship, it’s time to have an honest conversation.
“One partner dominates the space, while the other takes a secondary role,” said Sweet, and most people do not want to play second fiddle.
You can also tell who is dominating a relationship by where their heads are when they sleep.
When a couple’s heads are right next to each other, it means they are equal, and if they touch, even better — it’s a sign that they have like minds and know what’s going on in each other’s heads, Wood said.
People who sleep closer to the headboard tend to feel more dominant and confident, while those who place their heads further away from it tend to be submissive and have lower self-esteem, she also said.