Don’t get in the way of your own TRUE happiness.
Mr. Right, Prince Charming, your soulmate … whatever you call him, finding the right man is no easy task. It can be even harder once you’ve found him and start wondering, “Is he the one?”
Many women have a clear idea of the exact kind of guy they want to fall in love with; others feel they’ll know him when they see him.
Some of my dating coaching clients even carry extensive lists to help them recognize Mr. Right when they start dating.
Regardless of how you approach finding the right man, my dating advice is to not get lost in the process of wondering whether he is “the one”. Sometimes women are so busy qualifying a guy against their complex criteria, they overlook all the good that exists in the relationship.
It’s most important to stay objective, to avoid getting attached too quickly.
In fact, I’m a big fan of dating multiple guys until you get to exclusivity with one. Keep all your options open … that’s just smart dating.
This way you’ll spend enough time with a man to know he’s truly worth releasing your other suitors.
The problem is, when trying to determine which man is best, women typically focus on the negative.
You look for all things he’s NOT doing and how he DOESN’T measure up, so you can move on if needed.
That’s OK. It’s a natural (and necessary) part of any selection process, but it can also overshadow all the good in him that you might be taking for granted.
So, I’m cautioning you — make sure you don’t miss out on a wonderful man because you’re too focused on disqualifying him. Keep your eyes (and heart) open to noticing where the men you date excel.
To help spot a good man, here are 12 signs to watch for that will help you answer “Is he the one?”.
1. He makes you smile and laugh.
Never underestimate the power of humor to bring two people together. If he makes you laugh, that ability will come in handy when you eventually hit rough spots in life.
2. He remembers things you say and acts on them.
A thoughtful man lets you know how much he cares by the little things he does for you. He listens to the little hints you drop or dreams you share and then he strives to make them a reality.
Whether it’s picking up the ice cream you’re craving or surprising you with the trip to Paris you’ve always dreamed of. He listens and takes action to make sure you feel cherished.
3. He is a supportive friend.
If he’s got your back, that’s a sure sign you have a solid foundation for a strong relationship. His support helps you feel safe and bolsters your confidence during challenging times.
4. He keeps his word.
A man who keeps his word is a man you can count on and trust. Think long and hard before you dump a guy who is genuinely trustworthy.
5. He inspires you to be your best self.
If he encourages you to be your best self (intelligent, light-hearted, etc.), that has tremendous value and means he is good for your self-esteem … and your soul.
6. You learn new things with him.
While you have your own interests, this guy introduces you to a world of wonderful new things. He shares his knowledge happily (without patronizing you), and this is a great quality.
7. He accepts you as you are.
That ease you feel with him? That’s called “acceptance.” When you feel accepted, you know deep down that he loves you just the way you are. True love blossoms best in a “no judgment” zone.
8. He is fun to hang out with.
The two of you have such a good time together. You could have fun being out and social, engaging in an activity, or doing absolutely nothing at all. Life is challenging, so a partner who lifts your spirits and helps you lighten up is a definite keeper.
9. He will talk over any problems.
Issues crop up in even the best relationships. That’s why his willingness to talk things over and find a mutually agreeable solution is a very good sign.
10. He is proud of you and what you do.
He beams love when you tell him about your latest accomplishment and he happily shares your good news with others. That is love.
11. He adds to your life.
This man enhances your life and you feel your world is so much better with him in it. His presence feels enlivening, not smothering. That’s a surefire signal he’s good for you.
12. He gets along with friends and family.
Everyone you introduce him to sees what you see–a truly good man who cares about you. It’s hard not to adore a man who lights you up inside. When the people who know and love you best give your man a solid thumbs up, that’s a guy worth keeping around.